Di hari yang mulia ini,kita mulakan hari kita dengan bismillah.This is because by reciting the word bismillah during the early morning, it can enhance someone's day with a nice and breezy day..I'll promised you that ^_^.
So as for today, ainul nak kongsi the feeling of losing someone who had colored up your life for about 21 years of life(my life). Maybe some of you face this kind of feeling of losing someone that you very much care and love about such as your family members,your friends ,your partners and more. And you must be wondering why does this happen to me? Why am I being test by Allah? Why the person that is so close to me?
Well as for me, tahun ini adalah tahun yang ainul sedih sekali....The reason behind my sadness is I've lost one of the man that I love dearly and he had been my backbone since I was young little girl till my 21 years of life which was my grandfather from my father's side "AKI ". Since his death which happen on 10 October 2012, I turned from being a girl which gives smiles easily to people, giggly and sometimes talkative to certain people, turned on becoming a more quiet, unfriendly I guess towards certain people.My apologies to my family members and friends which been offended by my attitudes or action.
Do you know what does it felt losing someone you cared and love?Till this day, I felt the loneliness of losing someone..you know why? Usually on Thursday after I've finished my Introduction to Fiqh class, I will the happiest person on earth cause I'm about to meet my family back home although I lived in Petaling Jaya, by living in my current location (Gombak).....I still miss them(mcm tinggal kat Kelantan nun jauh sana je).The first person that ainul nak sangat2 jumpa is my Aki...because he will the happiest person to see me in front of the door (Ya Allah, I miss those moments).....And now,the wheels had turned in other direction...
Sometimes ainul rasa macam tak sabar nak balik rumah nak jumpa Aki but after realizing in front of the door of my house, I realize that I will be walking straight up to Aki's room to go and see him but he is nowhere around.Instantly I realize that he had left me hangin on my own to feet( I'm thankful that my family members and friends is always there for me but without my Aki by my side, I felt the emptiness in my heart..And that time I will tend to question why does Allah took my grandfather away from so fast?Why not me instead of him? Then I come to my senses on the reason why do Allah take away my Aki away from me...Allah tidak akan membebankan hambanya sekira hambanya tidak mempunyai kekuatan untuk menghadapi cabaran yang diberi. ...Allah telah mengambil roh Aki dan mengembalikan Aki kepadaNya adalah untuk menghilangkan segala penderitaan yang Aki hadapi.....
Ya Allah, terima kasih mengurniakan seorang hambaMu yang sangat aku kagumi sifat-sifat nya penyayang,family man, peacemaker, tegas,cekal, great supporter, and never differentiated his loved between his family members...I still remember when he is still with us back then, Aki selalu ajak ainul berbual about the future life that I will be facing later....Aki ada cakap, Aki berharap that I will take a good care of my family and he once said that he will like to see me graduate,work and also getting married to the one person who will love me altogether with my flaws and more....Yang paling lawak sekali , Aki pernah tanye ainul where is my husband and the two kids...I'm shocked at first but I presume it as a joke which I then later told him the truth that i'm not yet married to anyone and having kids...He later said, In sha Allah, you will discover your true prince charming same as in the storybooks....Aminnn...I hope so In Sha Allah......
To my future husband, I hope u will accept my flaws cause I'm just a normal human being....I hope you will take a good care of yourself and your family which than transmit on taking a good care of our family(in the future)......Insha Allah....
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